When in Rome

 Whenever I am in a new country I always try and acclimate myself to
fit in as a local-As the old adage goes, “when in Rome do as the
Romans do.”  For instance, when I am in London I
complain about Americans, drink Starbucks coffee and
listen to whatever American pop song that is current, 10yrs ago.
In Kenya, there are many cultural differences that I have accustomed
to without any real effort; walking slowly, tear gas, and AIDS. But
there is one thing that gets me every time I come to Kenya… the lack
of tact or no tact whatsoever.  I was at the orphanage playing with
the babies when a Kenyan woman looked at me and said “Sara (pronounced
Sala), your stomach is big, why is it so big!” Now, my first reaction was to immediatly start coming up with excuses for my weight gain (stress, living in a city where anything can be delivered at any hour, ice cream, cake etc...) I honestly didn't think I had gained that much weight since the last time I was in Kenya.  Clearly, she was wrong, clearly there was something lost in translation, maybe
she meant I looked healthy.  Before I could respond she walked over to
me and placed her hands on my stomach and said “Tumbo Kubwa (big
stomach).” I simply laughed/cried it off.  After leaving the orphanage
I went to the motorbike stand to get a ride back to my house.  The
motorbike driver I had was Peter (pronounced Pita).  I have known
Peter since the first time I came to Kenya a year and half ago.  And
each time I come Peter always remembers me and greets me, “Welcome
back Sista!”  I jumped on the back of the motorbike and we are off
racing down the dirt road.  Peter, like many of the motorbike drivers
enjoys to talk to you while dodging/hitting oncoming
traffic/cows/small children.  “Sista, tell me, what did you eat while
you were in the states?  You are fat now!”  Naturally, if I lived in a
country where all I ate was Sally Struther’s tears and Angelina
Jolie’s self satisfaction I too would have the body of a 15yr. old
Russian model.   Maybe, I did gain weight or maybe the adage is
wrong…After all the Roman Empire did fall.  And since I am allergic to
dieting, Kenyans will just have to acclimate to my fat ass.